The need to address news of tragedies and violence by calming fears seems to be something that has been increasing lately, even if mostly due to increased access to “news” of some form of disaster.

Countless tips, suggestions and techniques are posted on the internet. A range of these may contradict each other. Some say to bring it up, others say not to unless a child asks. In the end, it is the family’s decision, guided by parents, who need to decide what to say, when to listen and how to comfort each other.

For your consideration, a few suggestions culled from numerous postings. I leave it to you to determine which ones may best suit your situation, your family and your needs. Talk with other parents about how they deal with these same issues. Find strength and support in their common bond of parenting children.

1. Be alert to indications your child may be reacting to stress from hearing about violence or some form of tragedy. These could range from difficulty sleeping, eating, and schoolwork or just plain being able to relax and play in their usual manner.
2. Remember everyone deals with stress differently (bad news, rumors, the unknown). Some may want to learn every detail and others may prefer silence to sort out their feelings before talking or asking questions.
3. Talk with your child in a way that communicates your availability to listen should they ask questions. It’s ok to say, “I don’t know why some people do bad things, I do know I always want to keep you safe.” Avoid trying to over explain; many times a child’s main concern is “will this happen to me, or mommy or daddy?” Allow them their own feelings rather than telling them how to feel. Reassure your child(ren) you are there for them as the first line of safety. Give them an extra hug now and then.
4. Make yourself a model since your behavior is a signal to them if they should be worried. They are likely listening to how you are talking to other adults.
5. Take a break from watching too much news about such tragedies, keep the regular things life happening to show stability, safety and to engage in routine tasks and activities that represent a typical day or week.
6. These isolated events impact us wherever we are, do not lose sight of our own daily goals and abilities to deal with changes that occur and stay positive and optimistic about getting through the day, set short term goals, things to do and focus on those as part of everyday life.